Today is Maddie's last day of daycare. K4 starts on Tuesday. When Maddie was about 6 months old, I had to remove her from daycare because of bumps and bruises, the final straw was that her elbow was pulled out of her socket. I should have trusted my instincts, but I didn't. waited until her arm was just hanging painfully at her side until I finally realized she was being neglected and abused. I will always carry that guilt.
Thankfully I found "Grandma Janet", she was right down the road from work and she was starting a daycare. She came highly recommended and Maddie has been there ever since. Grandma Janet has been very generous where we've been concerned. She doesn't charge me for the days Maddie doesn't go and always makes sure I'm covered if they are closed for vacation. When I started working from home (about 40 minutes from daycare) I made the decision to keep taking her because I trust them with my child. We wake up extra early in the morning so I can drop her off and drive all the way home to start work, then again in the evening.
I'm not sure I'll cry on Maddie's first day of school. I've been dropping her off for almost five years and it has been painful to do at times, I had to. Today, I have been crying all day. All of a sudden, I feel very vulnerable, like I'm losing my safety net...The one constant I've had in my life. I will not miss the drive and certainly not the expense but I'm suddenly overwhelmed.
I think it takes a very special person to create a loving, warm, creative, and nurturing environment for other peoples children (I don't think I would have the patience)...Today, as I look back at the last four years, I am very grateful.