Friday, October 3, 2008

So many changes...

Well, its been a while since I've posted. I don't really have an explanation other then the overwhelming feeling that I have been lost in my own life. September flew past with such speed that its almost left me in shock.

Maddie has started school (I still haven't even turned in all the requirements yet) from 8:30 to 1:00. I pick her up on my lunch break and she is home with me for the remaining 3 hours of my work day. This has been a huge change for a single parent, the only time I'm away from Maddie is during my work day and the drive to take her to and from daycare/school etc. Now a portion of my work day has Maddie in it, please don't take that the wrong way, I love my daughter more than life itself, but I feel unbalanced. I would love to be a stay at home mom, but I'm a working mom who stays at home and that is huge.

Yesterday, when I picked Maddie up from school, the teacher pulled me aside to tell me that Maddie has not been listening in school. Purposely not listening. For example: they are to sit cross legged (pretzel legged) on the mat during story time. Maddie refuses to do this, after so many times of telling her, they make her sit in a chair and then she SMILES!!!! at them. She will also shriek at the top of her lungs out of nowhere.

I was beside myself. I really didn't know what to say and I have even less of an idea what to do. Is she getting too much attention? Not enough? I realize the situation could be worse...the parent in front of me went first and her kid has been: pulling, pinching, punching, pushing, kicking and spitting. But I feel inadequate. I came home and cried and I'm still crying as I type. Maddie has no other explanation other than she misses me. The only thing I can think to do is a schedule. If Maddie is bucking the system at school then its time to get a little more regimented at home, schedule her day when she's here. Some, but little TV time. Project time. Help with dinner. I have doves, its Maddie's job to vacuum the feathers. Play time. Taking a walk together. I'm open for suggestions.


karengberger said...

Dear Mags, I am sorry that you are facing this, and that it's making you sad. It sounds as if Maddie is trying to communicate something.
Can Maddie tell you what she is trying to accomplish with her behavior at school? Did the teacher ask her about it? What does their experience tell them? Maybe it's something simple to adjust.
When she says that she misses you, what does she think she wants to change, that would help her feel better? Whether you can do what she wants or not, perhaps if she is just able to tell you, talking about it may help her. It's a place to begin. I hope you feel better. God bless both of you!

Suz said...

I was wondering what happened to you. It sounds like a huge adjustment for both of you. And yes, I think she is looking for attention. (don't we all want that?)
I think you are on the right track to not give her so much "free" time and start her on the track of a bit more of a schedule at home, so she will be more open to it at school.
My girls were not always little gems either. I read many books on the topic to get some help from an outside source. "raising confident girls" and "the strong willed child". also, one that had something to do with stopping the back talk.
I think I still have the books somewhere, if you would like to have them I would be more than happy to send them to you. Lucky for me, I am past that point.
And remember, it could always be worse. She is a healthy little girl, and the little behavoir issues can be fixed now before they become bad habits later.
If you want the books, leave me a comment on my blog with your email, then I will get your address from you. I will not show your email on my blog. promise.
take care,

The Engine of the Family said...

I have a 6 year old boy(my daughter is now 14), but every so often he goes through little behavior patterns that make me say 'Wow..where did that come from??!!' The hard part is finding out what 'that' is. Maybe starting school was a little overwhelming for her and just needs a little more 'mom time'. Hopefully everything has resolved itself by now!