Wednesday, June 25, 2008


Whats a hossiepop you ask? Beats me, but I have a thought. Maddie has been using this word lately, whether she made it up or picked it up somewhere I do not know.

When I asked her what a hossiepop is she replied, "its a lollipop" to which I said, "if its a lollipop, why don't you just say lollipop?". My child must think I'm a sucker (pun intended).

This is how she uses hossiepop in a sentence:

Maddie says "momma, can we go to the park today?" My response "no, we can't go today, its raining." Maddie's response "awwwww hossiepops!" or "oh hossiepops!".

Kiddie swear words? Roughly translated into adult language, it seems that hossiepops could mean sh*t, f*ck, or damn it. I need to nip this whole hossiepops thing in the bud.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Tiny Dancer

Last September, I signed Ms. Maddie up for Ballet. This last Saturday was the big recital! Before I go on to give a glowing report about her wonderful dancing, let me give you a break down of all the f*ckery I've had to endure since September:

First of all, I never expected this to be cheap, but I've been nickle and dimed to no end. The class was $32 dollars a month...not bad really, but if you look at months like November, December and March, the months with holidays, I paid for full months and she only had two lessons. Not to mention June (only 2 lessons this month and then the recital) The outfit custom measured to fit her small four year old body was $60. There were only 3 of them to start and then after Christmas 7 more kids joined in, which was very chaotic...She has not learned a new ballet move since December! The recital fee was $70!!!! This fee was because of the "professional lighting and sound system". The show was held at the local high school and from the looks of it, we were just using their equipment. Tickets to the show were $10 a ticket and there were 2 shows, afternoon and evening and they were required to be in both.

There was a mandatory dress rehearsal last Wednesday that started at 3:30, about an hour before I was done working, an hour before everyone was done working for crying out loud as its a Wednesday! They were required to be in full make-up ($40 Mary Kay make-up), hair had to be parted on the left and put in a bun, costume, pink tights and ballet shoes. Of course they had to have professional pictures at $30 a crack.

The owner of this place has been sending these sporadic emails regarding times and prices that continually changed. One of the last emails she sent, she mentioned t-shirt pick up? What t-shirts? Apparently, everyone who signs up for dance in the fall gets a free t-shirt of this years show (which by the way was called "destinations"), those who did not sign up for dance next year may purchase a t-shirt for $18! Why on earth would new students want a t-shirt from last years show? When I told the owner that "no offense, this doesn't seem very organized", she went on to tell me that she "was the most organized dance studio as far as emails and information in the tri-county area"...what an odd and ludicrous statement, how on earth would you know if you're the most organized? What three counties? Is Hazard one of them? Anyhoo, enough about that....

The kids (3 and 4 year old) were required to check in the day of the show at 12:30 at which time they were separated from their parents for the remainder of the afternoon. The show started at 2 and Maddie was the 7th dance, after about an hour there was a 15 minute intermission (kids stilled locked in a room somewhere) and then another hour of performances, then the finale. Then we were allowed to sign them out for about 45 minutes to feed them and get them back quickly for the evening time for naps or a decent meal really. We didn't get home until after 10 pm!

Despite all of this and my frustration, Maddie did great!!!! She handled being on stage beautifully and did so well...even when other kids were standing there and goofing off, she kept right up with the routine, I was SO PROUD!!!! I, of course, bought her roses and my friend bought her some beautiful flowers (and so did my friends mom). Maddie felt soooo special, I could tell, she was very pleased with herself.

I have become good friends with two of the moms in class (balances out all the problems) and we plan on signing the girls up again next year...we found another place in town, that is much less expensive and a lot more organized! HOORAY!

The following day, I took the Madster to the zoo and I'm happy to report no incidents with the goats!

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Things I've learned the hard way...

I plan on taking Maddie to the zoo on Sunday. We have a zoo pass and haven't gone this year yet. We love the zoo and always have a great time. Maddie has her first ballet recital on Saturday (one big giant nightmare that I will post about some other time), I figure the zoo will be a nice treat.

Thinking of the zoo reminds me of something I learned the hard way...Almost 2 years ago we were at the zoo and Maddie wanted to feed the goats, she was just three. Note to parents (although you probably already know this): It is not a good idea to yell, "there going to get you" when your 2/3 year old is trying to feed the goats. They don't understand your humor or your sarcasm. What they will do is scream/and or cry, but definitely run to put as much distance between themselves and the crazy attacking goats. There is a very fine line between having fun and your child becoming "that" kid. You know "that" kid right? "Honey, remember "that" kid that freaked out at the zoo?"

Lesson learned.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Fifteen Years...

I have been tagged for a meme by Suz from Busy Bee....thanks Suz!!!

Ok, so I have to think back on the last 15 years, that's tough since I've suffered "momnesia" after giving birth to Ms. Maddie, Duchess of Wisconsin.

What would you tell someone that you hadn't seen or talked to in 15 years, what would you say to sum up your life?

You get 10 bullet points. A list of 10 to summarize the last 15 years....OK, here goes.

  • 15 years ago, February 17 1993, to be exact, I was finished with my tour of duty and discharged from the at last. My friend Mike drove to California to pick me up and we spent the next 2 weeks road tripping home. We went every where, grand canyon, beautiful Colorado, couple nights in Vegas. When we arrived home, we had $5 between us. This trip would define our relationship as friends, awesome! We have travelled all over the country and the world together.
  • Once home, I met the man I consider my soul mate. The following summer, we moved to Colorado together. He was working on his Masters project, I got a job working for a rancher. The first part of the summer, I lived in a one room cabin in the mountains with no electricity or running water (I'll post more about this another time). I picked out my beloved dog Brier and she was a faithful companion for the next 13 years. My niece was born while I lived in Colorado. I remember I was putting a saddle on my horse getting ready for that days cattle drive and the old ranch hand Cebe came up to me and said "your sister had a girl, her name is Bailey." and then he walked away leaving me crying in a heap. I don't think my sister ever forgave me for not being there... My soul mate was killed in a car accident about a year after we got home.
  • By 1996, I was living in Florida lamenting and quite honestly "fermenting" over my loss. I stayed there about a year and a half before I finally realized I needed to go back home. My nephew was born while I was in Florida (another unforgivable). I had fun in Florida, but it is a much different place to live than to vacation. I also discovered that my very straight hair turns into an Afro in the Florida humidity...its never been the same. My road tripping friend once again came to get me and we road tripped home, had a blast!
  • 1998 I was home, these next few years are what I would consider the "quiet years"... Aside from a few road trips and a trip to Europe. Lived at home with mom for a while before me and my road trip friend Mike decide to live together.
  • I met my baby daddy (that's the only credit he gets) shortly after Mike and I move in together. This puts a huge strain in our friendship. Mike is gay and could clearly see this was not a good person to be with, but bless him, he put up with it. I made a clean break and started a new job were I met a friend so unbelievably dear to me. We were assigned seats next to each other and we were both pregnant and told our boss on the same day. We ended up having our girls 5 days apart. Our girls are best friends and we are best friends, I thank God for her.
  • In October 2003, I had my wonderful Maddie. Baby daddy is long gone...only Mike remains. Having a child in the house does not fit his lifestyle, he meets someone and up and leaves one day. We do not see each other again until my mothers funeral. I move with Maddie and Brier into a charming apartment above a gift store.
  • August 2006, my mom woke up and couldn't walk, we assume its MS, which she has slowly struggled with (although in denial) for several years. The following day, my dad had a massive heart attack on a cruise in Alaska. Our attention is focused on my father, he had quadruple bypass and makes a full recovery. After several MS treatments, moms walking hasn't improved. After another MRI, late September, we are informed that oops, its not MS. Cancer and MS apparently look the same and she has cancer with no options for treatment and is expected to live 6 months. I'm devastated.
  • November 19. 2006, my wonderful mother died, three days before thanksgiving, and only a month and a half after she was finally diagnosed. She did not want to live through the holiday...she said she didn't want to put us through that. I believe she set her mind on death and death quickly followed. I wonder if I'll ever be the same. Mini the wonder dog comes to our house, per my moms request. Mike attends the funeral and we put the past behind us...20 years as friends is too long to give up.
  • March 19 2007, my best friend and companion for the last 12 years Brier, died on my dining room floor. 4 months to the day my mother passed. This has been very difficult to explain to my Maddie as she is so young and struggling with these concepts. She has gone on to associate Nana and Brier dying together.
  • Present day...still struggling trying to make sense of it all. With my moms death, I lost my brother, sister and eventually my relationship with my father because I choose to stand up for myself rather than letting people walk over me...I would rather do whats right as opposed to whats easiest. Sometimes that's hard because I feel so alone. I continue to work hard for my family and support my daughter like my mom supported me. She set the bar high. I am still waiting for mister right to come along. We are happy and healthy and we will take life as it comes and enjoy every bit of it....

That's 15 years in a very small nutshell. I tried not to focus on the negative, but there are negative moments that have changed me forever so they were worth mentioning.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Things I've learned the hard way....

I should have lots of these types of posts, a continuing series. Today's "thing I've learned the hard way" is:

I'm somewhat of a clean freak, well, as much as you can be having pets and a child. I find cleaning to be very therapeutic.

I recently purchased a scrubbing bubbles shower cleaner, which I love. Once you're done showering, you just push the button and it sprays cleaner throughout the shower. Pushing the button 5 or 6 times does not get your shower any cleaner, it might however, put you into a chemically induced asthma attack.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Fathers Day.

I have mixed emotions regarding Fathers Day. I'll start with this:

After being with Maddie's father for close to four years, I discovered when I was four months pregnant that he was cheating on me (he married the person he cheated on me with, cheated on her and had a baby with that person, although he's still married). I told him it was, of course, over.

A day after my ultrasound telling me she was a girl, he called and said "I don't want it", I said "She's not an it, she's a girl"...his only reply was "I don't want it, OK?". A few days later he called back to say if I went after child support, he would go after custody. For me, it was a no brainer, but of course I sought council with my family, friends, and my church. They all told me the same thing. Move on and don't look back, which I did, and I haven't. It was, after all, very clear that he did not care for his child. He was only interested in being spiteful and playing games. I had witnessed this behavior in our relationship and was very aware of his relationship with his ex-wife and it was not pretty (writing was clearly on the wall people, I just refused to read it) .

He hasn't so much as asked for a picture of my beautiful Maddie, he has no idea what she looks like. He has never called to check on her well being. She does not exist in his world.

I have no regrets, I know for absolute certain I did the right thing. I have witnessed what he has done to the other woman who had his child after me, because guess what? She went after support. I have struggled financially, and the money would have helped, but my daughters emotional and physical well being are far too important to me to sacrifice for money.

This is hard on Maddie and for that, I feel horrible. There is an entire side to her family that she will not know... father, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, grandma and grandpa. All her little friends have daddy's, and she has no one. When making projects at daycare for fathers day, Maddie did something else. She is only four and since she has never known a father, I don't think she totally gets it, but she will. Little girls need their dads, and hers is a bonehead. I hurt for her knowing that she will have hurt feelings over this someday. I know this because I have hurt and rejected feeling about my own father, Bonehead Sr. I need to vent, but I think I'll take the Madster to the park. The sun is finally shining and I can vent later when it rains!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

My Maddie

Today my Maddie told me I was the best mom she's ever had....even though she's only ever had me as a mom. Today is going to be a great day!

Wednesday, June 11, 2008


Sometimes when I'm speaking to clients, I feel like I belong to a "Welcome to Earth" committee.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008


We are still cleaning up after this weekends storms. I was hoping to post pictures, buy my sucky computer is still down and the work computer limits me... There is still lots of flooding, roads closed etc. I would have to say the biggest shock came yesterday when I heard about Lake Delton.

Lake Delton is in the Wisconsin Dells. Anyone even remotely from this area is familiar with the Wisconsin Dells. The Dells are about 2 hours North of me and has always been a great spot for summertime fun, and winter fun for that matter since it is loaded with indoor waterparks. Anyhoo, Lake Delton broke through its banks yesterday spilling 600 million gallons of water into the Wisconsin river, taking several homes with it...what once was there is now GONE!!! No more lake. This is crazy to me.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Rain Soaked...

Day 5 of rain, day 2 of tornado warnings, and taking shelter.... My humidity AFRO has kicked into high gear and I look ridiculous.

Friday, June 6, 2008


In an effort to cook more, tonight I made breaded pork chops! I don't do very well with raw meat, it gives me the dry heaves...any raw meat, pork, beef, chicken. But, worse than actually touching raw meat or having to cut into raw meat is what I like to refer to as the "meat maxi pad" ...the little cotton square the meat sits on in the wrapper. DISGUSTING!

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Rainy and Muggy

I woke up early this morning before my alarm, I was convinced it was Friday, so I actually reset my alarm for a later time because I don't have to get up as early on was only after I was almost asleep did I finally come to my senses. Today is only Thursday, crap. Today is the third day of rainy and muggy weather, there is a pretty good thunder storm crackin right now and we are under tornado warning. My house is pitch black and Mini is barking as usual.

As much as I love a good storm, weather like this always brings me down. I was driving Maddie to daycare this morning wondering at what price does gas have to get to when I can no longer take her. Maddie's daycare is a half hour, one way, from our house. Daycare is by my office and since I started working from home, I drive there and back twice a day. I choose to do this because I trust the people at this daycare and she has been abused in a previous daycare (arms pulled out of sockets etc.) so I am way too skittish to try someone new. Preschool starts in the fall. She does stay home at least once a week while I am working and is very good about being quiet. If it was up to her, she'd stay home everyday and watch movies and play barbies but I can't give her my full attention so I don't think that's fair for her.

Some days my job sucks the big one, up one side and down the other (can you tell its one of those days?), although I'm grateful for a job.

I'm supposed to go to a wedding next weekend with one of my best friends. He invited me to go and then met someone and after about a month, moved to Hawaii with him. Now they are both coming home for the wedding and I told him I no longer wanted to go, which he thinks is silly... I have known him for 25 years, and since my mom died, I've spent the holidays with his family (even when he's been off on his most recent love boat episode). I actually lived with his parents for a while, so no one would think twice if Maddie and I were there. However, I feel that since he asked me to go and then asked someone else, I should stay home. I don't want to go with them, and his boyfriend was rude to me when we met, spending time with those two does not appeal to me. Am I being crazy? or is this as stupid and rude as it seems? I'm crabby.

I'm feeling rainy and muggy just like the weather.

Monday, June 2, 2008


This little animal is called the Naked Mole Rat and lives in Africa.

So if you're having a bad day and feeling sorry for yourself, remember: Going through life is hard enough, but to go through life looking like a dick with buck teeth must be horrible!