Tuesday, December 23, 2008

More advise please...

I do intend to post fun pictures of our tree and playing in the 15 inches of snow we now have, but I need some friendly advice.

I am having some problems with my wonderful daughter, whom I love more than anything. For about 3 weeks now she has been a completely different little girl. I don't recognize who she is...she will come up to me and say things like "if I don't love you can I still live here?" Hurtful, not just once, but the several times she has said it...

We drove past a police officer on the way to school one morning and I said: "look, there is a police officer", she went to school and told everyone I was going to jail. She then spent the next 48 hours crying about it...no matter what she was told. Her teacher wanted me to call the doctor. I finally explained, by giving an example, why a person would go to jail. Like a dumb ass, I explained stealing...she then spent the next 48 hours crying because she was convinced that she had stolen something. She searched her room frantically for something that did not look familiar, convinced she was a criminal. I finally had to take her to the police station to sit down and talk to them because she needs to know that they are her friends. She would not go near him, but seems a little better about the whole thing, but only a little.

A friend and I went Christmas shopping one night and Maddie stayed with her kids and husband. Apparently, he thought they broke a lamp and he yelled at them. Now, Maddie has only ever been yelled at by me, I may have a deep voice, but I'm no man. I really think it scared the bejeezes out of her because that's when I noticed the change in her. She no longer wants to go to her friends house and she continues to talk about it when we are talking about our feelings, which she woke me up at 1:50 am to do.."talk about our feelings". My friend, whose husband yelled at her (I call him "man with broken spirit", but that's a different story) , has been inquiring whats wrong with her. When I mentioned that she brought up the yelling incident again she said "you people are making it sound like he did something more"... The "you people" forced me to hang up the phone before I said something I would regret. You people!

I am going to have to call the help line at work and take Maddie in to speak with a professional, myself as well. I need to get to the bottom of whatever is going on. In the meantime, my feelings are hurt, I'm angry, sad, worried and depressed.


karengberger said...

That sounds like a wise and loving next step. Has she had her annual well-child physical exam, as well? Her pediatrician may be able to offer some ideas. Praying for comfort, love and wisdom for you both.

Persnickety Ticker said...

Taking her to see the doctor or a therapist is a great idea. The friend's reaction worries me though. I think it will take time and lots of love and understanding to get to the root of what is going on with your little girl.

On a side note, my little girl recently went through a dramatic personality change for a few weeks. It took a lot of investigation and a doctor visit and in the end nothing was really wrong. It was just her being her. She is now back to her normal happy little girl self.

I hope you find the answers and I hope all turns out OK for you both. If you need someone to talk to just drop me an email.

Smileygirl said...

I don't like the people that called you 'you people' either. You don't need 'those people' in your lives. It's really too bad that the father over reacted and would yell at Maddie over breaking anything as it was not her fault. I hope she can understand that she is not responsible for his outburst and that thankfully she does not have to live with someone like that. It sounds like she has fear of getting into trouble?

I hope you guys will get back to your usual ways once all this is figured out.

Busy Bee Suz said...

I agree with your brilliant commenters above me...go to the Dr and see if he/she has any advise. She definately has many fears, and you need to find out where they are coming from? Some kids at school? any other adults that she is around? A tv show maybe?
They do go through personality changes at times and that is normal, but if this is causing loss of sleep and you are concerned, better to be safe than sorry.
let us know....I will be sending good thoughts.
take care,